Court testimony NM#100235 10 JAN 2010 PA (Post Apocolypse)

Court testimony NM#100235 10 JAN 2010 PA (Post Apocolypse)

1 (Court called to order)
2 (Defendant present)
3 (Defendant testimony)
4 (9:05 am)

5 MR. JONES: The main reason I am here is because I will miss her. I mean, all it took was a
6 quick blow to the head...
7 JURY GROANS. COURT DEMANDS ORDER. DEFENDANT'S ATTORNEY OBJECTS.
8 COURT OVERULES.
9 MR. JONES: Wait a minute, it wasnt me! I know what you're thinking and your judging me
10 before I can even complete the sentence! I mean, the son of a bitch bit her! Can you believe it?
11 He fuckin' bit her on the arm! The autopsy clearly shows that she was not only bitten on the
12 arm, which ripped away tons of skin, that no one can find by the way, but also the neck, back
13 and torso. Seriously, do you think I did that?
14 DEFENDANT'S ATTORNEY OBJECTS.
15 MR. JONES: No, no, no, let me finish! You asked for my side of everything, I dont care if you
16 are my lawyer, I intend to tell 'the whole truth and nothing but the truth.' Anyway she fell down 17 the stairs, not just the first flight but all five. With that bastard still attached to her knawing
18 away at her chest. The autopsy shows that too, doesn't it? Human bites that ripped away flesh all
19 over her stomach? I mean shit, he ate her tits man, seriously, what the hell? I even ran down
20 after them screaming bloody murder. I still had the knife in my hand of course, and damn sure
21 bet you I was ready to use it on that bastard! Attacking my wife? I don't care if you never found
22 the that bastard! I stabbed him fifteen times in the damn back. After the first few I even counted.
23 At least fifteen times! If I'm a murderer for killing that freak than so be it. But I did not kill my
24 wife! I love... loved her...
25 DEFENDANT'S ATTORNEY: So then you took her home?
26 MR. JONES: Yeah, I gathered up what was left of her and took her home. Laid her down on the
27 couch and even covered her with a blanket. She seemed to be shivering, I don't know what I
28 was thinking, maybe I thought she'd be okay if she had a chance to rest. How was I to know she
29 was already dead. I just sat there, with her legs on my lap like we always do. She seemed to be
30 in such a deep sleep I couldn't I couldn't bare to wake her. She was still breathing then, I swear
31 it, I saw it, what was left of her chest rising and falling like she always does in peaceful sleep...
32 so peaceful I eventually joined her and I dozed there, like I always do, as if nothing was
33 different, accept it was...
34 DEFENDANT'S ATTORNEY: Accept it was what?
35 MR. JONES: When I woke she was standing over me, looking down at me as if I wasn't really
36 there at all. As if... I don't know, maybe she thought I wasn't real, wasn't really me or
37 something? I was still groggey, not quite remembering what had happened only a few hours
38 before. So I said... “Hey beautiful” and she said nothing. But she did grin, one of those pit-bull 39 grins that show all teeth, you know what I mean? Then she leaned in towards me, like she
40 wanted a kiss or something, only I wasn't so sure, with that toothy grin and all, and I shrunk
41 back, held out an arm to hold her back, like, hold on honey, you looking like you're a little
42 weird. I think I even said that, “Hold on honey, you don't look good.” then her snapped together 43 and she got more insistant, snapping away those teeth as she kept forcing her way towards me,
44 pushing against my arm like it wasn't even there. Eying me like I was a piece of meet or
45 something. I mean, she looked hungry! I was, like, “hey, I'll make you something to eat!” And 46 she was like chomping away. I don't know, but I suddenly realized the knife was still gripped in
47 my hand. How it managed to stay there so damn long is a mystery even to me. But it came up in
48 reflex, stabbing at her beautiful face... Oh god her face, I stabbed her pretty face, I don't know 49 how many times, I didn't count this time. I just flailed away, stab, stab, stab, until... as the
50 coroner said.. the knife found her ear and entered her brain. So clinical he made it sound. Not
51 like she was a real person at all, a person I love. Then she fell to the floor. Dead I guess. Dead. I
52 miss her so much.
53 ATTORNEY FOR THE STATE OBJECTS.
54 MR. JONES: You gotta believe me, if I'da thought she was her... I mean really her, the woman
55 I'd married and love, I never woulda... I mean, I love... loved her...”
56 OBJECTION SUSTAINED. LAST STATEMENT ORDERED STRICKEN FROM RECORD.

Notes: this subject was found guilty of first degree man slaughter. One of many under same types of conditions and for similar crimes.

Addendum: This particular subject was slated to be executed via lethal inject under New Mexico's reinstated death penalty of March 2011. The date of said execution was supposed to take place on May 17th, 2014. This of course never happened since we have documents showing that an outbreak hit the prison he was held in on April 8th, 2012. It is believed he was one of those beheaded in the initial riot there.

If We Were Zombies

So Zombie movies are amongst my favorite horror movies (i know, who doesn't love zombies?) and admittedly i have been listening to way to many Jonathan Coulton songs (what do you mean you don't know who Jon Coulton is? WTF? Well its education time then, goto http://www.jonathancoulton.com and listen! You might recognize at least one of the songs. And you might understand where the influence came from). Anyway, I always said if i got back into making music again I'd want to be more like Jon. The other day the idea for this song hit me and therefore i had to write (those who write understand the "have to" part) it. So here are the lyrics as I have just completed them. Comments, suggestions, etc. are welcome. OR reflections on your favorite zombie movies etc. are also welcome. Now i need to get out the guitar and figure out how the melody goes.

If We Were Zombies
J.P. Hunt
(Mar. 24th, 2010)

Lying here with you, your head resting on my arm
Watching as poor barbra is running through the graveyard
While you softly snore, I can't feel my arm no more
Meanwhile the dead are at the door just looking for a bite to eat
I look down at your pretty face, flex a finger I can't feel
As ghouls on the tv screen all seem to like their meal
It makes me kind of hungry so I gently seek relief
In the kitchen later while preparing my own feast
I find myself wondering what if you weren't really sleeping?

Images of living dead, plagues all part of government tests;
bloody grins, intestine slurping...
I quietly listen to hear your breathing... weeewh!

But this whole thing has got me thinking
how bad could it really be?
and could I shoot you in the head
if you were the living dead?

If you were a zombie - I think I'd love you anyway
I might even let you snack on me
Yea, I think I would
As long as you weren't the brain eating kind
To that I think I would probably mind
I'd have to protest the thought anyway
Assuming that I could

This morning when I woke up, I desperately had to pee
Except rule number two says stay away from the bathroom
Besides you beat me in there, I hope that you’re aware
That there’s no where to run if the undead are waiting
Then my love you’d end up a human Happy Meal
It makes my bladder ache so I go outside for relief
Mid-stream I fear being the living Kill of the Week
Somehow I survive, so I warily wander inside
Where I find myself wondering what if it were me instead?

Me among the living dead, gorging on italians;
Chinese, Soul, and Indian...
Is it true they all taste like chicken?.. sigh

But this whole thing has got me thinking
would I still be in love with you?
and could you shoot me in the head
If I were the living dead?

If I were a zombie - Would you love me anyway?
We could be an awesome zombie couple
The first in history
As long as we weren't the brain eating kind
To that I think I would probably mind
I'd have to protest the thought anyway
Assuming that I could

We could chase people up and down our street
Have a candle lit dinner on a fat guy named Pete
I could be your Fido and you could be my Kat
Necrophelia eachother, honey, I'd be down with that
Go hang out at the mall and sample all the fooda
Maybe even have a baby like Andre and Luda

If you were a zombie - I think I'd love you anyway
I might even let you make a snack of me
Yea, I think I would
As long as you weren't the brain eating kind
To that I think I would probably mind
I'd have to protest the thought anyway
Assuming that I could
If I were a zombie - Would you love me anyway?
We could be an awesome zombie couple
The first in history
As long as we weren't the brain eating kind
To that I think I would probably mind
I'd have to protest the thought anyway
Assuming that I could